You were the first adult purchase i was apart of.
The first home I owned.
The first home I got to decorate-to an extent.
The first home I hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas in.
The home I found out I was becoming a mommy in.
The home I brought my sweet boy in.
The home that for a short time was filled with laughter, happy tears and baby coos.
The home my sweet boy first said “mama” in, learned to crawl in, took his first steps in...
The house that I realized I was settling in.
The house that started to not feel like a home.
The house that has walls that hold secrets that most will never know.
The house that sheltered me when I was completely broken.
The house that has made me realize I deserve better.
The house that made me realize I was living within four walls of a shelter but not a home.
Moving in general is a pain in the booty. Moving during a pandemic as a single mom out of the house that you were originally sure you’d be bringing 2-3 babies home from the hospital to is a whole other level of emotions.
This house never felt like home with the exception of the days that it was packed full of friends and family for holidays/celebrations. This home was a big accomplishment as it was the first home and first adult purchase I ever made.
It’s funny though because two of the people closest to me that have come over have said they feel nothing but bad vibes in this house. I’d love to say I was surprised. But I’m not. This house, although there were again, some good times, holds a lot of bad times, tension, upset and hurt.
This selling experience has thrown me for a loop of feelings. I’ve gone from so over the moon excited to get the heck out to bawling my eyes out on the floor of my sons first ever bedroom. I didn’t see myself moving from this house for at least another 2-3 years. I definitely didn’t see myself moving from this house as a single mother. But alas, here we are.
The other day when I was just having A DAY, one of my most inspiring friends said “it’s just a house, Noah is your home”. That resonated so deeply with me. It IS just a house. The memories that I have here, I will always have. But this house was not a home to me. It holds a lot of bad and a little good.
Noah and I now have the chance to go to a place we can make and call ours, a place we can fill with laughter, new memories, new friendships and relationships.
I say all the time that I never saw my life going this way. And I never did. But I am oddly grateful that things are how they are because I am getting a second chance at being happy and getting the love I deserve. That everyone deserves.
So with that, 6024, you are the home I am ready to say goodbye to.